Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
