At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize