i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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