He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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