at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
