I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
