Already got asked if we're dating
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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