I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
