My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
