did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I just put wine in my tea
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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