Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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