If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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