You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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