OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
