I just made out with a guy for $7.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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