We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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