He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Send help, water and tortillas.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
