using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
