I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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