Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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