Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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