office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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