watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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