dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize