All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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