Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
