Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
