My pussy is not your playground.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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