Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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