some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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