Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When are your genitals available?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
