The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
