The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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