...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
