I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
