when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's the barista slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My ass is underappreciated
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
