fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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