People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
