I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
