just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
