I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
