I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize