I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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