Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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