I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
