It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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