Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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