i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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