We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
