i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
