I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
