Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
