Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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