it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
