Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
