I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
