there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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