he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
