So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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