she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
